Gathered around me were millions of glowing, iridescent shapes. I stared at them as they moved of their own volition, some joining together with others, some splitting apart. They were beautiful, and as I watched I felt the calm returning, as if to say “it’s okay, it’s long past”. There was light in the blackness now; not much, but some, emitting from the UFO that had previously been a memory turned movie in my mind. I lifted my hand in front of my face, to see if there was anything I could use to touch some of the amazing pieces surrounding me. I saw nothing. I looked down toward my body, and again saw nothing. I decided that my mind was simply still functioning like I had a body, much like it would continue to feel an amputated limb. I still didn’t understand, but I at least had a theory, and I was satisfied with that. Unaware of how to explore my world with no physical being, I tried what I would have done if I had one. I reached out with the hand my mind thought I had, and touched a piece of shining substance. When I had reached far enough, I felt a warmth and softness like nothing I could explain with words. As I watched, the substance began to form; it looked as if it were climbing up my non-existent hand, creating an iridescent and ever changing glove. It continued to climb, up my arm, my shoulder, my chest, torso, hips, and legs. I was being immersed into a bath of amazing comfort and beauty. Any negative emotions that had arisen disappeared, and I was left – again – feeling completely serene and at ease. Again, I lifted my hand before my eyes. This time I saw the shiny glove of my own fingers. I looked at my chest and legs, noticing that I had no wrinkles, no seams, and no identifying marks. I was only a slim, smooth shape of shifting, glistening colors. In awe I studied my new form, no nails, not joint lines, no reproductive parts, no hair. I felt my head and face; its smoothness surprised me. I pinched the stuff on my arm and it raised and fell back into unmarred perfection.

I was beautiful. I felt that statement as appreciation and awe, without a touch of pride. Content that I had learned what I could about my form, I raised my eyes to inspect my surroundings again. The black had returned. Velvety and thick, but my new body shone with it’s own light. In the distance was another morphing form. Haloed in silver, it was very far away. As the form moved closer I could tell that it was changing, condensing in on itself, getting smaller and more compact. It was close enough to see clearly within seconds, and when it stopped it’s approach, I was struck by the intense beauty of what stood before me – even though I understood, somehow, that this was not its’ true form. The vision was exquisite. Billions of silky, silver strands flowed in every direction from its head. Its body, not like mine, was iridescent, but pearly silver instead of my many colored hues. The form was very spider-like, arms, a torso, standing upright, and eyes that seemed to have taken in the velvety blackness around us. There was no mouth or nose on the face, but contoured lines that moved slightly and seem to portray emotion. The body was lithe with long limbs and digits. Even as I stood in awe of the beauty and impossibility standing before me, I was aware that it was communicating with me. There were no words, but I understood that this creature meant me no harm. I understood that it was the power that was driving my experience. As if someone were thinking beside me, I learned that my journey had just begun, and that this creature would be my guide to understanding something so important that I would be forever indebted to it. Then, the familiar voice that I had held onto with such fervor after my accident whispered soft in my head again, telling me everything would be all right.

The voice and form, there together, completed the story up to this point. I had been chosen for this experience. This beautiful creature had saved me, for what purpose I did not know, nor did it matter. I knew then that I would follow it and do whatever I could to stay in its presence. My feelings of warmth and comfort were so immense that I couldn’t imagine returning to my human existence of anger, fear, irritation, or dissatisfaction. My desire to stay with it was so intense that I felt the need to voice them, to ask if I could, to beg to be kept by it. My voice did not work, but the extraterrestrial understood me anyway, and explained, without words, that this was not my place. I had something very important to return to, and would explain everything to me. No longer was the Extraterrestrial a whisper in my head, but a thought; distinct from my own, but just as internal. I wondered if I was the same to it, and learned that it was. I was shocked at the new form of communication. Every thought I had was its, and vice verse. I felt its curiosity about me, its passion about the cause, and an intense love for my world. I felt nothing negative from the alien, and noticed that I felt no negativity in myself either. It was a most positive experience I could imagine. I again felt myself being moved about, gently sliding in space. I could see my body going forward. I learned that this was a form of travel, that we were going someplace new. When we slowly moved into a parallel world. I was not afraid, but insatiably curious. The movement slowed, and then ceased. I could see a violet horizon speckled with bright stars. The landscape of this world was pitiful, pieces of what looked like shattered metal and the trees were littered about, as if recently burnt down.

Jagged spikes rose from the ground all around us, remnants of broken metal and trees. A body of water in the distance fizzed, releasing a fog that I could smell for just a moment as I wandered it strangely illuminated passageways to a graveyard of lush blue and green rocks. My next stop was a walkway going Below ground, there an  encased figure – a famous alien   that we were told did not exist. I saw the last few moments of the extraterrestrials life flash in my head. My final stop was once again as a child with my 8-year-old memory. I stood beside the adolescent child; one of us gilded in iridescent magnificence and one of us awestruck and dirty. Both of us were looking up at the sky. The flying saucer above our head speeds forward, and I am sucked along with it, flying directly below as if I’m attached by a string. The bomber is not far behind. The images faded, and I was left standing on a mountain, the mountain I would own, not knowing soon to be. The moving over took us again, enveloping us in a soft warmth, and I saw my body getting closer; bloody and open, surrounded by frantic doctors and nurses. I understood that I was supposed to go back, but I didn’t want to. I begged to stay. In response to my pleading, I received a rush of affection; love coming at me from all angles. I calmed and accepted the gift of purity as I was pulled back into my body. The soft voice whispered in my ear, telling me to hold on, that everything would be just fine. I held on to that voice with everything I had while it told me to be strong, that I had to be strong to take on the mission I had been given. I held on to that voice until it told me that I had to let go. I let go of its voice and felt breath being forced into my lungs. The pain was immeasurable and I retreated into nothingness again. ***********

I woke on a bed in the recovery room to a loud sound. The sound was me screaming as the glare of fluorescent lights burned my eyes as I slowly opened them. How are you feeling?” I hadn’t thought about that yet. I felt groggy and pretty numb, but there was definite pain in my arms and leg; my head was throbbing under a heavy curtain, obvious but not painful. “Not bad”, I told her. “What happened?” And there was something nagging me, something that I was supposed to know, but couldn’t quite grasp. “And…?” I asked, aware that there was more that the nurse didn’t want to tell me. “You were in surgery for a long time, you was lifeless on the operating table. You have a both arms damaged, and your left leg is broken. I think the doctors should tell you what happened in there, they know a lot more than I do.” Just then a nurse in white opened the door and walked into the room, smiling at me, but my mind was racing. Images swam in my head, odd pictures that didn’t have any place in this world. Creatures and places I had never seen, but felt very connected to. But stronger than any of the images was the thought of. A voice, whispering in my ear, a soft voice that felt I knew, connected to the images and something bigger. It wasn’t making sense. I was trying to put some of the puzzle pieces together as the nurse slipped a needle into the tube feeding my arm.

It didn’t take long at all before I started feeling groggy again as the medicine began to work. there was a doctor standing at the end of my bed, looking at a chart. He smiled at me when he noticed I was awake, and walked to the chair next to my bed, sitting down with the demeanor of someone bearing bad news. “Well, it sure is nice to see you awake and doing so well. I was one of the doctors in the O.R. with you. You gave us a run for our money in there. “Yes,” I said. A nervous energy ran through my fuzzy head, clearing it just a little. The Doctor leaned forward, resting his arms on his legs, and started to speak in a deep, professional tone. “You were rushed into the O.R. almost immediately after you arrived here. Your vitals were dropping very quickly, you see. Your left leg was broken, below your shin with eight inch's of bone missing. You have both elbows damaged. You were also bleeding profusely before you arrived. Your leg required some screws and plates to stabilize the breaks, I sent a crew to see if they can find your broken leg bones. Do you have any questions so far?” I’m afraid we lost you during surgery. Your heart stopped beating for about ten minutes before we could get it beating again. We administered CPR when possible to continue supplying your body with oxygen. All of your tests look wonderful, but we cannot make any promises that lack of oxygen didn’t affect your brain.” He stood up, and said “I’m very sorry to have to give you such uncertain news, but we are optimistic that you will make a full recovery.” He walked to the end of my bed and replaced my chart.

“If you have any questions, just let one of us know, we’ll be happy to sit down with you more. Now…I’m late for rounds. If you’ll excuse me…” He gave a curt little bow in my direction and walked out the door. I was more confused than ever. I had assumed that my foggy mind had been the product of pain medications and trauma, but now I questioned that opinion. Was it possible that I no longer had the same level of brain function? Had I experienced some kind of life-after-death phenomenon, or was my I was imagining things? I thought about that question for as long as I could hold onto it, trying to figure out the plausibility of my mind creating such strange images in the throes of death. Soon, though, I was thinking intently about that voice in my head, and what it meant. Who was the alien, and why does it seem like its so vital to my existence? Was its voice real, maybe it was one of the ambulance crew. I began wondering if it was just confusion, if maybe I hadn’t heard that voice at all, but imagined the voice. That made sense to me; that I would reach for her any way I could through my traumatic experience. But it didn’t help explain the images I was seeing, or the connection between the voice and the images. And it didn’t explain how it felt; like its voice was a tiny piece of a very large puzzle. The nurse came back in, and once again gave me the drugs every four hours that would keep my body in less pain and my mind in a haze. I drifted in and out off sleep, dreaming of circles of light and strange creatures. it was divine intervention, and I had to agree; although, I wasn’t so sure God was the one responsible. Days and weeks passed; My mother,dad and Ruth was with me every evening, My friend and neighbor, Bud had visted me and had talk about how the day before he had heard all this noised and awoke to find that he was parked in the middle of US highway 80 in his eighteen wheeler at Columbia, ky. Later I was told he had died in a crashed after leaving the hosptal that day.

The doctors and nurses did tests and administered medicines, and after six operations my left leg it was amputated, slowly my body began to heal. All of the tests showed that my mind was functioning perfectly. I didn’t mention the strange dreams for fear that the doctors would consider me brain-damaged. I was still unsure of my own stability, but I wanted the opportunity to examine the thoughts in my mind without medication altering my ability to think. My friends questioned me endlessly about my preoccupation, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell the crazy story that was building in my head. My rational mind still thought it was a morphine driven delusion, but my emotional state was in turmoil over the belief that it was much more than that. I didn’t have faith that My friends would even try to understand, nor did I have a clear enough understanding myself to try to explain. Eventually they sent me home on crutches. That first night home, I was blissfully happy to be enjoying a second chance at life, everything seemed perfect with the exception of the nagging visions in my head. Its morning i am sitting on the porch of my home with a cup of coffee, enjoying the clarity of my mind and the cool, crisp air around me. I glanced at the yard, which needed mowing, and the neglected field now overrun with weeds. I looked at the dying tree at the edge of the property, and the healthy forest of them beyond it. My eyes traveled over the familiar scenery without thought, taking in the beautiful colors as I breathed the fresh, clean air. Something in the distance caught my eye, a flash of light buried in the trees. I stared for a long time, as the light seemed to dance and flash; and suddenly a huge wall in my mind collapsed and all of the dreams I had been having turned into vivid memory.*******

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